If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
