you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
