i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
