I'm gonna have a badass scar
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
