so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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