im about as happy as oj after his trial
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
