Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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