her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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