oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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