I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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