found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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