Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Bring me that man meat
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
