He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize