Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
