I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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