he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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