The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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