He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
