return my video game
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
