...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
