i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
