Three words: puerto rican gang bang
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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