Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
