we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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