i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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