I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
