Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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