On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
