we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
