someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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