Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
