she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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