These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
