So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
