your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize