did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
