I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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