How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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