my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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