All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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