i was born a porn star she said
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
