i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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