See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
