Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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