I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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