I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm always down for nudity.
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