Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
