Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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