why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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