You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
