Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
