the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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