last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
