hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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