Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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