I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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