At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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