quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
