the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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