Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize