yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
