so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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